I have been in an ambulance more times than I can recall in just this past week alone. 3 times were in just one day and it was a day that included 4 stays in the ERs of 2 different hospitals. Just showing up at my regular dr’s offices gets me hauled away because a routine check of my BP & pulse makes them think I will immediately have a stroke so I guess they are required to dial 911. But no hospitals will admit me for inpatient care no matter how many non-hospital dr.s say I need it cuz I guess I may have been death paneled or something now that Obamacare is official. I can’t walk when it is bad and often cannot even see but with BP #s such as 250/17 (really) and 220/180 the hospital says go home & monitor it and when I told them I didn’t have the device to do that I was told to go to a store where they have those booths you sit in for a free BP reading. They told this to me while I was blind and basically paralyzed. They are dicks. And every time they discharge me, they lie on the papers and say i went for some completely unrelated stuff that I totally wasn’t there for at all, because I think the hosp gets fined now if the same person keeps showing up up for the same thing and I keep trying to get help for the fact that I keep getting strangled when my throat closes from all swelling and it keeps sending me into a life threatening position with that Adrenal Insufficiency stuff. I was 125 lbs a few weeks ago, but I swell up to 170 lbs on bad days, yes, that much fluid builds in my body and blows me up and hurts me and strangles me and makes me fall down and screws me up in a bajillion other ways – from a prolonged allergic reaction to a drug they never should have had me on to treat a condition that i never had. I’m currently hovering at around 150 lbs for the past 2 days, which is 15-25 lbs of fluid killing me, but at least it only rises and falls by a couple of pounds thru the day now instead of dozens of pounds so that might be a good sign.These are hospitals that just a few months ago basically FORCED ME TO STAY as inpatient for days of care when my vitals were not nearly as bad as they are now.Funny coincidence about the policy change & Obamacare implementation happening at the same time, huh?Just thought I’d fill u in on what’s up with me. I’m in bed writing from my phone so can’t blog or C&P nuthin and my eyes are swelling shut again but if anyone asks about me, you can tell them what I just told u or if u have a bit o time, someone plz just put it on my blog(s) if what I wrote above is not too incoherent. I’m only sending this email to those of you who have access to post on my blogs.
There is much more to tell but my eyes are going to make me wait.
I am in the worst pain of my life and am not even remotely well mentally. My face is unrecognizable even to close relatives now because I am so disfigured from swelling. Being a chick, the thing I see in the mirror has completely fucked my head up, as has the fact that I am too swollen in my body to even wear maternity clothes that I used at the very ends of my pregnancies in which I had been enormous.
I did see a new doc on Thurs who seems competent & he thinks I’m salvageable but he also said it would take weeks or months & that I should prepare for physical and mental pain that may be worse than I can possibly even imagine. It is already horrible.
Because ppl helped me, my lights & internet are fine so this is not a bleg. I am however asking for prayers which are badly needed and if anyone can stand to call & talk to a sick person who is temporarily mentally ill, I would welcome a reprieve from my miserable isolation. But mostly, because I am currently so very ugly and isolated and my self esteem is destroyed, I really just don’t want to be forgotten. Please remember me as I used to be back when I was a decent blogger and not a disfigured half dead mental case.
I miss everybody but I’m in no shape to follow the news since the tyrants running our country into the ground make me yell & scream even when I am sort of ok so while I am at high risk for stroking out, it’s probably best to avoid as much as I can of obama’s evil *******.
Thanks for “listening”.