Friendly? Yes. Glutton for Punishment? NO.

Posted on June 27, 2012 by Zilla • 4 Comments

Recently, I disclosed here some background information explaining, to all who wondered, why I appear to be a “sucker” (to the point where I have even been called a “dupe”) when I occasionally get myself into trouble by being nice to people who popular opinion or conventional wisdom would suggest that I should not. However, I am not self destructive, nor am I stupid. As much as I am loathe to turn my back on people that I may have thought kindly of, especially if they otherwise have little else in the way of a support network, even I have my limits.

If my kindness towards a person causes me to get repeatedly dragged into their dramas, whether that drama is from external sources or (especially) if it is self-inflicted by that person, and I end up losing hours (or even days) of my life to deal with it at the expense of other things that require my focus, and if dealing with that person’s never-ending issues and conflicts becomes harmful to my physical (I am still very seriously ill) or mental health, and/or put my long standing friendships with people who I admire and trust at risk, then it’s time to stop the bleeding and I have no choice but to cut my losses. While I hate to “abandon” a lonely person or hurt their feelings, I am not interested in becoming a martyr for someone that I have only recently become acquainted with. You may think it selfish, but it is more a matter of self preservation and survival for me.

It may seem hypocritical or whatever, but I don’t care; because by the time I reach the point where I feel I must “stop the bleeding” and walk away, it is not a decision that I have made lightly or arrived at quickly. When I do finally arrive at the point of exit, I do so with a clear conscience because I know that I have done everything that I could and that there are just some people who (for whatever reasons) I simply cannot help no matter how much I may have liked to have been able to.

I’m sorry, but it’s like that, and that’s the way it is.