Yesterday I went to a new doctor to get the biopsies that my Lyme specialist wanted me to get. The Lyme doctor suspects that I have a dangerous systemic fungal infection and told me to see a dermatologist for biopsies to confirm it (or rule it out) so they can decide on a proper course of treatment. So yesterday I made the 25 minute drive (should have taken 15 minutes but there were a lot of brake happy idiots on the road) to the dermatologist’s office and sat in the waiting room for 45 minutes before they saw me. The drive there had beaten the heck out of me because I am becoming so frail and I not only was in incredible pain while waiting but I also had a hard time even staying awake, and I learned that it is no longer just sunlight that hurts my eyes, but indoor lighting that is anything brighter than dim as well (I had to keep my hat on because the light their ceiling light was blinding me). The actual office visit was less than ten minutes long.
The dermatologist refused to do the biopsies that my doctor wanted or any other tests. He said that if I was systemic I’d be very sick (I AM very sick) and that I’d be in the hospital (uh, you generally need a doctor to confirm your illness to be hospitalized) so without looking at me he said that no tests needed to be done. I made him look at my skin anyway and he said he thinks my problem is neurological, that the Lyme disease which is attacking my brain is causing my skin to go crazy and then he said that there is another dermatologist in his practice who knows about such things and referred me to him, I have an appointment for that on Monday. He would not look at my fingernails and toenails which are clearly and very obviously infected (especially my poor toes) and he said he did not know why the Diflucan, which kills fungal infections, helped my symptoms (the worst symptom being horrible and debilitating pain all over my body but especially in my lower back and deep inside my bones). He just told me that I should see another doctor in his practice and he gave me a prescription for Lidocaine ointment which he says would at least numb the skin so I don’t continue to rip it to shreds scratching itches that he thinks are caused my my brain. So basically, the whole thing was a waste of my time, energy and gas money, IMHO.
My condition continues to deteriorate and I am a freaking mess physically; I am frustrated and very cranky. In addition to the pain that goes all the way deep into the insides of my bones and the all over nerve and muscle pain, and the itching, I have a non-stop feeling like what you get when someone runs fingernails down a chalkboard, but it is never-ending and that feeling is all over my whole body. I honestly don’t know how much more I can take without any kind of relief. I am leaving in about an hour to make the 100 mile round-trip drive to the Lyme specialist’s office and I will beg them to come up with something, anything, to alleviate some of my misery beforeÂ I lose my damned mind. Maybe they can do some blood tests to look for the things they wanted to know about that the dermatologist refused to look for. I don’t know. I am in a lot of pain and driving makes it worse, I am not looking forward to the trip but I need help. I will see what they have to say and if they think I should even bother with the other dermatologist appointment that I have on Monday.
In other news, Mudge the rat is still alive (barely) and is on her third solid day of violent seizures and convulsions, and her little rat companion Henry, is still holding vigil over her. It is hard to see her like that, I honestly thought she would have passed by now, but it has also been three days since she ate or drank anything so I imagine she will be at peace soon (at least I hope so). It is just so sad. Once she crosses over, there will be a tribute to her life at this blog, because it will comfort my daughter and because I always write a tribute to our beloved family pets when they die – because what kind of friend would I be if I did not honor a life that had brought so much love and joy to my family while she was with us? She may be “just a rat” but she is OUR rat, and we love her.
I do have one bit of good news to share: we were able to get our fridge fixed! We still had a lot of food spoil, but at least the thing is working now. My husband knows an appliance repairman and he came over late Thursday night to have a look at our refrigerator. He just happened to be in the neighborhood when he checked his messages and learned of our problem. Then in another delightful “coincidence”, he just happened to have the exact part that my particular machine needed on hand in his truck, so he fixed it at a fraction of the cost that it would have been if we’d needed to buy a new 9or used) one. I give full credit for this happy event to the Prayer Warriors who have been praying for my family. THANK YOU. I raise a glass of cool refrigerated water to them!
I have to go and get ready for the long drive to the doctor’s office now. Thank you to everyone who has offered kind thoughts, words and prayers, and thank you to the handful of people who have Hit My Tip Jar to help me to cover some of the many new expenses that have come up. God bless you. I love you all.
This post is linked at An Ex-Con’s View. Thank you, Paul!
Email Me: Zilla@MareZilla.com